Psst! You there!

Yes, you! You, the one staring at your computer screen or phone screen. You, the one who is either sitting or standing up. I’m speaking to you! You could be green, blue or purple and this message is for you too! 

Ladies and Gents, it has come to my attention recently, and by recently, I mean in the last hour and a half that the majority of you in Atlanta, GA failed to read Driving Tips 101 with Yours Truly. 

Now you may be thinking “Cass, how have you come to that conclusion” and I will tell you. 

Yours Truly just spent 45 minutes driving from exit 78 on I-20 to exit 74 on I-20. If you aren’t familiar with this interstate, there’s only ONE exit in between those two exits. 

That’s right. Just ONE! It took me 45 minutes to go THREE exits. 

A six car accident had all three lanes backed up. 

You want to know why there was a six car accident? Because someone decided not to eat their awesome sauce this morning and acted as if they were the only driver on the interstate putting others in danger. So not cool!

What did I say in my blog Driving tips 101 with Yours Truly about respecting other drivers? If you don’t know, go read the blog!

My morning commute then proceeded to take another 45 minutes as there was another crash a few miles ahead of me. 

Ladies and Gents in Atlanta, Ga.; we must talk. We all know it’s raining today. If you aren’t sure what exactly rain is, I’ll give you a short science lesson. I’ll make it elementary simple.

Rain is what falls from the sky from these things we call clouds. If you aren’t sure what clouds are, they are those white and grey things that float in the air above us. When these clouds get too heavy, they release the water. This water is known as rain. 

Now Ladies and Gents, we know when it rains that we can’t drive as if the sky is clear and sunny and the roads are dry. There are safety precautions that must be taken. 

Obviously, some individuals forgot about those safety precautions this morning as they were entering the highway. 

With that being said, if you are driving today, use your brain. Eat some Awesome Sauce before you leave the house and have a fabulous day. Consider the drivers around you and have common curiosity for others. If you can’t or aren’t willing to do so, then please stay at home.

And EVERYONE, go read Driving Tips 101 with Yours Truly! ASAP!

Driving Tips 101 with Yours Truly 🚗

It doesn’t matter if it’s in rush hour traffic in the morning or evening or you’re one driver out of five, there’s an idiot on the road and they shouldn’t be. 

I was driving in traffic this morning as I work in Midtown and traffic is awful at this time of day. Luckily for you, I have time to give a few driving tips to help improve your skills as an experienced driver.

Tip #1: If you are driving on a road that is two lanes or more, please figure out which lane you belong in. Everyone knows one lane is normally used by the slower drivers while the other(s) are used by the drivers who seem to be in a rush. Now if you’re on the interstate and you’re going five miles per hour under the speed limit, you best be in the far right lane. If you are in the far left lane, we have a problem. The far left lane is for those drivers who typically drive 10-15 miles per hour over the speed limit. So unless your heart just fills with joy as drivers must go around you when you’re in the far left lane going 60 mph in a 70 mph speed zone, I’d advise you to move on over a few lanes. 

Now if you don’t know your right from your left, bless your heart! You may need to go back to kindergarten and learn which is left and which is right. Trust me, no one will judge you! Well maybe just a little! 

Tip #2: If you are an 18-wheeler driver or a larger truck driver, we need to chat. There is NO reason at all that you should be that close to another vehicle. Given your size, you need to stay back 10 car lengths between yourself and another driver. If you feel like you have to ride someone’s ass, please remember that if they break because of traffic in front of them, their lives are in your hands depending on if you break in enough time or not. So back off! We realize you’re big and mighty but we’d prefer our distance. 

Tip #3: I know it’s difficult and for crying out loud, who ever invented it should be hung, but if it’s before sunrise or after sunset or it’s downright pouring outside, put your dang headlights on! I realize it’s hard to twist a switch or push a button. Trust me, it takes less than two seconds and it kills me every single time but it must be done! 

If you don’t care about your own safety then that’s perfectly fine. But we live in the United States and most of us are selfish and concerned with ourselves so we’re going to make sure our safety comes first. If you can’t do that for yourself, try putting your lights on for those around you. You’d be such a Good Samaritan. 

Tip #4: Do NOT and I repeat, Do NOT blow your horn at someone when a traffic light turned green 0.5 seconds earlier. If you do that, not only does it make you look like a butthole but it also tells the person in front of you that not only are you in a hurry but you’re also impatient. That would then give the person in front of you the drive to teach you patience. Instead of them driving five mph over the speed limit as they normally would, they will now drive 10 mph under the speed limit. 

Look at that! Your plan backfired because now you’re moving slower than you would have and you’re later than you would have been. Sucks to be a jerk! Stop honking your horn and be patient. Traffic will move and you will get to point B. 

Tip #5: Now if you don’t know your traffic signal now or what the colors mean then you need to take yourself back to preschool. Preferably the three year old class. They’ll tell you exactly what green, yellow and red mean. 

The last time I checked, red meant STOP. It does not mean hit the gas and speed through the intersection. It means hit the brakes and come to a standstill. If you haven’t figured that out yet, you may want to give up driving. Knowing the traffic signal is fundemental to being a well rounded driver. 

I’m sure the three year olds would be happy to teach you. Heck! A two year old could tell you what the colors meant as well.

Tip #6: Lastly, please refrain from applying makeup, reading the newspaper, candy crushing or any other distracting activities while you’re on the road. 

While I applaud your ability to multitask while driving, it puts yourself and others in danger. 

Plus, I’m just envious that you have the ability to do more than just drive. I can barely talk and drive, let alone drive. It’s ludicrous that you can read an entire newspaper from cover to cover while driving. You wouldn’t want a sea of jealous drivers around you, now would you? 

So for the safety of yourself, let’s just stick to driving and leave the newspaper for when you’re at work avoiding work! I won’t tell your boss! 

I feel as if I’ve covered all the important areas of driving. At least for now. I must make my way to work with my newspaper in tow. 

This has been Quite lovely with Yours Truly! Have a fabulous day folks and a safe commute to and from wherever you feel like going today and every day!